'Body positivity' is a big thing. Don't believe me? Just ask Tumblr. Or you can read this brilliant blog post my lovely and talented friend Floraidh wrote on the topic. "Love your curves", we're told. "Love your lack of curves", we're told. "Love your breasts/tummy/hips/thighs", we're told. Promotion of being comfortable in your own skin, no matter how much body it covers. It's lovely... so long as you're a girl. Because that's who it's all targeted at.
Do not get me wrong; I realise that the extent to which body positivity has been pushed towards the female population is due to the gender inequality that still persists around the world. Women have always been told how to to look, and that they look 'wrong' when they don't- or can't- conform and, therefore, they are now told that they can look however the hell they want. That's great, really wonderful. But males have body-confidence issues too, always have, and I'm probably not alone in feeling a bit left out.It's probably because we, as a gender, are credited with causing the problem for females in the first place. Or maybe it's because ours is, admittedly, a less propagated issue, and therefore any attempt to fight our corner is slapped down because our problems are 'less important' than those of the long-beleaguered female population. But whatever the cause, whilst the girls are being showered with praises and confidence boosters about the way they look, males are trying to deal with their own body issues, largely without help.
Call a girl fat and it'll hurt her feelings. Call a guy fat and the same thing happens. The difference is that the girl gets a gaggle of other girls clustering around her, berating the insulter and comforting the insultee, whereas the guy gets... well, nothing. It is assumed that, because males were for so long the 'dominant' gender, that we have some kind of forcefield that absorbs insults and projects them out again as something manly, like high-fiving. Or a beard. The truth is that it always hurts to be insulted about your appearance, regardless of gender. But whilst the girls are told to love their bodies, we're told to suck it up.
Of course, I understand that the problems girls face are far larger than the one presented to us. We males are not subject to the same scrutiny, the same level of societal pressure. But that doesn't mean that we aren't subject to it at all. And yes, a vast majority of guys are guilty of constantly objectifying women. But that doesn't mean that we can't be objectified in turn. We may not get the same intensity as females, but we get it all the same, and it affects us. Stubbing your toe and having it cut off are different in severity, but they both bloody hurt.
Consider One Direction. Here we have five young guys, all at a high level of fitness, all naturally good-looking, all talented and funny and charismatic. Wherever they go, they have girls screaming their names, reaching towards them, desiring nothing more than to touch them. Look on a website like Tumblr and you'll see literally millions of posts about them, their eyes, their skin, their abs, their legs, their dimples. Some girls will physically squeak when they see a new tweet from one of them. It's true, I've seen it happen.
How are we supposed to not compare ourselves to them?
So many of us average-looking, unfit, acned guys see this group, and the reactions they cause in the opposite sex, and we cannot help but assume that that is the way we are supposed to look. We then feel bad when we realise that it's impossible because of our body type/build/type of skin/etc. For example, I myself have a big butt, and when I see pictures of 1D, Abercrombie & Fitch models and the like, I dislike that part of my body for not conforming to what is clearly seen as 'ideal'. Now, I've never been inside a girl's mind, and so I cannot know for definite, but I'm pretty sure that this is the same sort of thing they go through when they see Victoria's Secret models, or Beyoncé. The desire to be what society tells us is 'perfect', coupled with the knowledge that we cannot achieve such a goal, is not limited to the female brain. When girls walk past a billboard displaying a model lounging around in her underwear, the same thoughts occur as when a guy sees an aftershave advert featuring a chiselled, statuesque adonis.
I suppose what I'm calling for is recognition of the fact that guys can get down about their appearance as much as girls, that body positivity is not something to be preached exclusively to those with two X chromosomes. The two genders should be treated equally- it's not called 'gender equality' for nothing. And please, before anyone raises their "gender equality is about bringing women up to the same level as men" pitchforks, that argument is based upon the assumption that men don't ever feel bad about their body- an assumption that, as I've explained, is fundamentally flawed.
What we need is to lift both sexes up, to a level at which everyone is always happy about how they look. We need to reach a point where everyone is comfortable, not only about how they look, but also how they compare to others.
I know that it's an impossible dream, but as I look down my large nose at my shapeless stomach, big butt and pale legs, I can't help but think it would be nice.