Another reason is because he doesn't like a lot of it. Nightclubs are excessively loud and pointless. Modern films aren't half as good as old ones. The Ford Anglia is more attractive than the Ferrari Enzo. Most of these I disagree with him on, wholeheartedly so... except the nightclubs bit.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm fine with most of their key aspects- I've got no issue with a little partial nudity- but I do get a little angry at what passes for music in such places.The thing is, I have an annoyingly broad music taste.
"But Fraser," I hear you exclaim, "how can liking most genres of music be an annoyance?" Well, my dear questioner, the problem is twofold.
Firstly, whenever someone asks me what kind of music I like, I can't answer. I used to be able to, back in the days when my MP3 player almost exclusively contained rock bands such as Green Day or Linkin Park (I say 'almost' because I also had Mika on there- say what you want, Happy Ending is a beautiful song). But now, when my iPod's collection ranges from Adele to Slipknot to Daft Punk to Ed Sheeran to a band that sings exclusively about Doctor Who, with several gigabytes of indie musicians in between, it'd be entirely incorrect to answer "Oh, just rock really". I therefore have to resort to the fairly pathetic response of "a bit of everything", which says nothing about me at all- except that I am decidedly indecisive- and anyway, it's still quite a big lie.
This leads me on to the second issue. I am now more open to any and all types of music than I was before; I no longer shun an artist if they've never screamed into a microphone. And yet... now and then I still find groups or artists that don't fit into my musical world order. Some examples from recent times are One Direction, Justin Bieber, Swedish House Mafia and Nicki Minaj. It's nothing to do with them as human beings- I'm sure they're lovely people (although Bieber needs to get the hell over himself)- but I just don't like the music they create. And the biggest pimple on the visage of audio entertainment, my biggest musical bugbear of all, is modern mainstream dance music.
'Dance', 'Jungle', 'House', 'D&B'- categorise it how you will, it just doesn't appeal to me. The closest I've strayed towards it is dubstep, and I think that's purely because it sounds a bit like a Transformer. But any other sub-genre of dance music, with its monotonous synth beat loops, insanely boring melodies and apparent lack of lyrics and artistry of any worth- or, come to think of it, any talent at all- will either give me an aneurism or send me into a coma. Or, if it's David Guetta, both.
You want to know how people who make popular dance music (I'm not going to call them artists) manage to put so many tracks on every album? It's because they take ten minutes to create. Show me a Cascada song, and I'll show you a song that a six-year-old could knock up on Garageband. Places like Ibiza, as exciting as the nightlife and alcohol and sexual promiscuity may appear, would give you a headache within the first twenty seconds after you stepped off the plane.
Now, I can't expect people who run nightclubs to start playing Genesis on Friday nights. They'd probably have to Google who Genesis is. But what I can do is try and alter your personal playlist, to include some higher quality, less... terrible songs. So, here is my imaginatively titled 'Alternative And Definitely Not Dance Summer Playlist':A duo based in York, Fossil Collective craft folky beauty which works perfectly with sunny weather. Best enjoyed on walks in the forest.
2. Dear - Keaton Henson
If you like being relaxed, and also maybe a little depressed, then you're going to love Keaton. 'Dear' may not be the happiest 43 minutes you'll ever spend, but it'll be a 43 minutes you'll want to have again and again.
3. Cruiser EP - Cruiser
A little-known American band, Cruiser's Beach Boys-esque feel will have you wanting to take up surfing. Even though you'd probably be terrible at it.
4. Priorities - Don Broco
Want no-frills, funk-infused rock with a dash of swagger? Give Priorities a listen. You'll be dancing round your room for weeks.
5. Atomic - Labrinth
A free EP released last year, these five tracks feature collaborations from Devlin, Wretch 32, Ed Sheeran and Plan B, among others. Perfect for parties.
I think you'll find these albums enjoyable, original and worth your purchasing. And you know what? If you don't, if they're just not your cup of tea, then just remember this: they're certainly a whole lot better than whatever latest compendium of crap Ministry of Sound has found down the back of the sofa.